Presenting the (mindfucking) NEON GENESIS EVANGELION

I love this anime
Yes I absholutely love it, honestly
I'm not trying to exaggerate too much but I could say this masterpiece is one of those 'one in millions' anime you could find in this world
Its genius and its very unique. The emotions of a 14 year old teenager Shinji Ikari in this story is portrayed realky well. Even I thought the last 2 episodes of the series was emotionally (and mindfuckly) written.
Its true that sometimes I get extremely irritated by the way Shinji is trying to live. I wish I could enter the world of Evangelion and tells him that there are like 3/4/7 millions people outside JAPAN that are starving and carry heavier burdens like you.
Well, that was when I first heard about Evangelion but when I watched the entire series, I realized how heavie of the burden(s) Shinji and the other children are carrying. The whole human kinds are relying on you, Shinji.
I realized that all they had in this series are angels and none of them is the God. Its very surprising because this story is mostly related and is relying on some religion mythologies but the story itself lacks the most common basis of a religion, God.
Hm about Shinji, seriously, why has he never realized how lucky he is to have Misato, Ritsuko, Asuka and Rei and his 2 awesome friends (forgot their names lol) to be around him and loving him. Why has he never realized that like for god sakes there has been about 3 rebuilds and 26 episodes and he never seem to enjoy any of the things he did!!!
Evangelion is interesting because you can see many kind of people's opinions about it and its fun to figure what the story is by trying to connect all these opinions together. Somehow they made absolute sense!

I feel sick

Let me keep this as a diary if its alright...
Is this some part of adolescence? Is this what you call "mood swings"? It feels very irritating doesn't it ? It makes me mad
Whoever knew losing something "precious" would feel this bad... I couldn't call this a grief I guess, but I'd call it sad